My math teacher staples Burger King applications to failed tests
- Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
- Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
- Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
- Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
- Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
- JonTG: Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
- JonTG: wait, shit
(via wellimgabrielle)
This is creepily accurate.
omg, wtf?
hahahahah
oh my gosh.
this is scary DDD:
WHOS WATCHING ME?!?!
IS IT SHISUS & LAUGOD?!o.o
is my mom watching me…?
uh. yes mum.
“ I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals. ”
“ This cake is soooo good it’s like sex, except I’m having it ”
Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand
I don’t have hard drives. I just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers.
“ I got kicked out of the bookstore once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section ”
I want these!
cutest ever amirite
I like the red one! CX
Green looks like such a loner.
