loser.: Archive

Oct 30th

My math teacher staples Burger King applications to failed tests

Oct 30th

Oct 29th

232 notes

“I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying...”

Oct 29th

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

Oct 28th

“This cake is soooo good it’s like sex, except I’m having it”

Oct 28th

Oct 27th

4 notes

Oct 27th

2 notes

Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club...

Oct 27th

I don't have hard drives. I just keep 30 chinese...

Oct 26th

“I got kicked out of the bookstore once for moving all the bibles into the...”

Oct 26th

JonTG: Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z

JonTG: wait, shit

Oct 26th

5 notes

Oct 25th

Thoughts of a loser 2

Wondering how people pronounce the word (if it’s a word even) tumblr.

Oct 24th

3 tags

If The Zits Don’t Kill You, The Angst Will

Me: Hello this is [doctor’s office], how may I help you?” Caller: “Help! I’ve sprouted a nipple on my forehead!” (From the caller’s voice, I could tell that it was a female teenager.) Me: “Excuse me? If this is a prank, I can report you–” Caller: “No, this is not a prank! This morning I got up, and there was this huge, red lump on my forehead…and now I’ve poked it and this milk is coming...

Oct 24th

losered

erikaisballin: thanks for the follow :D I decided I should follow every erika I come across.

Oct 24th

4 notes

Oct 24th

“Can I be the girl that you met in a coin laundry;”

Oct 24th

Thoughts of a loser.

Don’t you hate it when you feel like you’re going to sneeze So you breathe in; preparing for it You wait a few seconds, you don’t sneeze Then you get that terrible tingly feeling in your nose.

Oct 24th